This evening I went to a 12 Step meeting, as I am wont to do, and have been doing - albeit somewhat irregularly for the past 4 years. As I have not imbibed in a drink during this time, I count 4 years of continuous sobriety. I have taken my liberties with other mood and mind altering substances, but the focus of my abstinence is of alcohol and therefore I consider myself sober.
Maintaining sobriety is an act of diligence and requires great courage and and will power to abstain during trying times. The dilemmas me meet daily must be dealt with head-on. There is not the traditional escape from our problems nor can we any longer attribute our difficulties to alcohol. We were under most criterion sober when we committed or performed our acts, and only have poor judgment or lack of foresight to attribute the results. Alcohol tends to make one very compulsive- we say and do things which under other circumstances we would not choose to do. We react harshly or with violence to challenge or obstacle. Now with a clear head and sound mind, we must take more responsibility for what we do, say, and think. We are forced to mature, to grow up, and even to progress. Our daily routine is no longer based on drinking nor pursuing the next drink. Our new agenda is to right our wrongs, change our ways, do things differently, and do things better. Although clear headedness and sobriety present their own rewards within themselves, we must do more. We must begin to clear up the wreckage of our past, then we can focus on improving our current circumstances. For many of us who lead reckless lifestyles, we may be homeless, jobless, friendless, and near lifeless. We may have seriously neglected our health, our oral hygiene, our diet to such an extent that we are near life support. Alcohol is not only unhealthy in itself- it causes serious physical and mental debilitation, it also encourages an unhealthy lifestyle. It makes us more sedentary rather than active or athletic, it discourages mental advancement (most people care not to read nor attend classes, or perform any mentally strenuous exercise while inebriated), and it also leads to poor dietary decisions. Firstly, it contains astronomically high calories. One beer is often 200 calories, and a heavy drinker will have at least six beers on any given day. 1200 calories is about half of the recommended daily allowance of calories, and alcohol has absolutely no nutritional value so these are empty calories. Without heavy supplementation of vitamins and minerals, most alcoholics and even heavy drinkers are highly malnourished. Add to this the poor dietary choices made by drinkers (most any drinkers of beer particularly). Most people half way through a six pack, given a choice between and burger/fries or soup/salad, will choose the salt and fat route rather than the fiber and vitamin option. This leads to heart disease and clogged arteries, as well as diabetes, kidney disorders, poor digestion and bowel function, even cancer.
Then add smoking, a common habit of many drinkers, and a person is getting hit on every front. 20 years of this somewhat extravagant lifestyle can put somebody in the grave due to just health reasons, not to mention the danger of accidents due to impaired physical capability or the risk of driving drunk.
Alcohol is a killer, responsible for more deaths annually than need counting. It is near impossible to quantify the annual deaths attributed even partially or completely to alcohol. Health reformers, moralists, religious leaders, and others have pushed, here and abroad, to legislate a prohibition of alcoholic substances made available to the public, or to severely limit its availability to people, especially minors. This has shown to be ineffectual in many cases, as too many people enjoy the flavor and more especially the effects of alcohol. Prohibition has more often than not lead to underground control of alcohol distribution and dispensing, leading to vast uncontrolled and untaxed profits, and much violence. Therefore we must each make a personal decision to imbibe or abstain.
For many of us, the choice of imbibing brings too many dire consequences, and we must choose to lead a sober lifestyle at any cost. We must arrange our lifestyle to support our sobriety. It is best for us to stay away from cocktail receptions, toga parties, and anywhere else where the consumption of alcohol is de rigeur for participation in the evening's events. We must choose a lifestyle which is more physically and mentally demanding, that requires our utmost concentration and skill. Many choose to embark upon a health kick, by riding, walking, rowing, skiing, or going to the gym. Many will also choose to exercise their minds, by taking classes, reading, studying a new language, etc. This not only provides physical/mental stimulation, it can lead one to more avenues of pleasure, and more opportunities for growth. One can, by being more physically fit, enjoy activities which were previously not possible, and along the way can meet many new friends, and have a more rounded social life due to new activities. One can also, through study and mental achievement, improve one's life in many other ways, having more topics for conversation for example, but also improve one's skill set and aptitude, making one more qualified for more interesting and a better paying vocation. One can have a much better life by simply doing what one enjoys, be it bike riding or reading books. One becomes a better person, gradually and sustainably, just by doing what comes natural- challenging the mind and body on a regular basis and exercising one's mind and body.
Therefore, when one meets another with vast amount of time in the 'program', one has high expectations for this person. Not only should this 'old timer' have a good amount of wisdom and experience in 'recovery', this person should also perhaps have his/her life in order, meaning that the wreckage of his/her past be somewhat cleaned up, but that this person should also be somewhat more sound in mind and body. This person (it is understandable that when a person has lived extravagantly for a long time that irreparable damage may have been done) should have a life that may be somewhat enviable to a 'new comer' being a mess of confusion and consternation. However, one often finds in these 'groups' that the old timers don't seem to be in very good shape at all. Many have poor diets, they drink too much coffee and still chain smoke cigarettes, speak with a foul mouth regarding other people or other groups, but perhaps even more significantly, they are still chronically unemployed, uneducated, and otherwise doing no better than they were were many years earlier when they swore off the stuff. Sure, they are in that meeting every day nearly, but they aren't taking classes, aren't riding a bike or going to the gym, they are just bullshitting and saying the same shit they've been saying for years with slight variations on the theme, picking up a few slogans and tidbits of wisdom along the way. Sure they have talked to quite a few newcomers, supported people in tight situations (supported emotionally most likely, perhaps throwing someone 5 bucks or buying him/her coffee and having conversation) but rarely do they really help somebody out- by giving that person a job for example, but how can they give away what they haven't got themselves? It's all fine and good to talk the talk, but when it comes to walking the walk and having spiritual, physical, and mental growth all together, I find many people in the program to be seriously deficient.
It doesn't take much to simply stay sober. In fact, it is easier than staying drunk or high. Sobriety is free, and sobriety is freedom. One is no longer a slave to the bottle, one need no longer subject oneself to the demands on a monkey, one can make independent choices. One comes a step closer to free will. Sobriety is easy, it is the growth and change that is most challenging. Don't think that staying sober for long periods is easy, for that is actually very difficult. But sobriety itself is a breeze compared to what many of us went through to stay drunk and high every day. Staying drunk/high requires using all the tricks in the book. One must hustle and one must deceive regularly to maintain this lifestyle. One must cheat and one must steal. Drugs and alcohol are expensive, and regular jobs are hard to keep when one is out of one's mind and under the influence regularly. Sobriety is the rational solution, it is also the hardest choice to make, for one must surrender a choice. One cannot live on both sides of the fence- either you are sober continuously, or you are drunk regularly. If you are drunk regularly you must live with the consequences. If you are sober always, you are fully responsible for your life and your circumstances. Perhaps not fully responsible, for their are many forces beyond our control, but you are as accountable as possible. You make the choice to sleep or to wake and to act. You have the choice to learn or to remain in ignorance. You make the choice to improve your life or to slide into dissolution. We do not live in the dust-bowl. Their are plenty of opportunities in our day and age to make something of yourself. If you do not seek fame and fortune, you can at least sustain your own life and have just a bit left over to share with others, something to share besides your wit and good humor, but something more substantial like a steak dinner or a job.
It is important to go to meetings regularly, if not for yourself, then for others. One with 10 or 20 years of continuous sobriety is an inspiration for the newcomers with maybe just 2 or 3 days to see that alcohol addiction can be curbed. It is important to help the alcoholic who still suffers, and what better place to find a suffering alcoholic than in an A.A. meeting?
